Sexistentialism: Isn’t Life About Something More than Copulation?
The New Era of Sexistentialism
Equating happiness with sex and sexual experiences is on the rise. Expressing sexuality through social media is growing. This is because of the increased overuse and dependence on technology and entertainment. As a result, more people are sexistentialists. Sexistentialism is, basically, men and women who actively seek self-worth and value through sexuality.
To understand this phenomena we must first briefly explain existentialism and then the psychology of sexistentialism. Last, there are some ways to counter this growing phenomena.
Existentialism’s common adage is: existence precedes essence. An individual defines who he is through experiences. For the existentialist, the quality of life is not in relation to others but as an individual struggling to find meaning in a dark and tough world. Consequently, his or her meaning in life comes through actions, found in feelings and emotions. It is not by ascribing to transcendent truths.
Today’s moral and political rhetoric summarizes this: “I” define what is right for me. Put another way: my rights are what I declare them to be. [ed. note: cf. neopaganism)
Psychology behind Sexistentialism
Society barrages women with expectations to act and dress in a specific way. Mainly, sexually. Likewise, society teaches men that happiness is found in sexual pleasure. Men start pressuring women to act sexually and start to value women as sexual instruments. As someone who brings pleasure to the senses. Also, some women define feminism or “rights” as having the power to express themselves sexually. Women receive positive feedback and attention when they meet these expectations (examples below).
Men and women are in a turn-cycle of sexual expectations. It doesn’t begin or end with one sex. Over time, the more the individual and society’s psyche is conditioned in this way, the more existence is equated with sexual essence.
Sexistentialism is an individual’s identity to sexuality. Freedom is through sexual expression. Sexual expression brings meaning. Life’s value is in sexuality. The adage is: existence is sexual essence.
Sexistentialists define sexual moral laws to fit a certain lifestyle based on wanted sexual experiences. So, sexual moral codes are formulated through experience; not by adhering to divine or natural laws.
This new era of sexistentialism is rising with the saturation of sex in society:
- sex in entertainment;
- some fashion;
- soft porn selfies;
- paparazzi photos of barely clad actresses and models (often violating their privacy);
- hook-up internet sites;
- celebrity sex tapes;
- porn; and,
- our obsession with it all.
Perpetuating the problem is the entertainment business’ promise of rewards, money, and stardom for women to act sexual. As the saying goes, “sex sells.” For example, many magazines have sexually charged covers. Those that don’t with pictures do with words. Next to an image of a woman are often in large, bold letters how, in some new way, to better your sex life. Katy Perry became a hit after signing “I kissed a girl,” marketing herself sexually. World fame came after this, not when she was a Christian singer. Beyoncé exploits sexuality in her performances and songs, exploring sexuality with feminism. Her half-time Super Bowl shows are in lingerie. Sasha Lane is half naked in a GQ picture to promote her upcoming movie.
Mila Kunis Slams Sexistentialism
In an op-ed Mila Kunis said she was done tolerating sexism in Hollywood. She recounts how a producer tried to force her to pose half-naked, and if she didn’t she’d never work in Hollywood again. But, she’s done. “I was no longer willing to subject myself to a naive compromise that I had previously been willing to … I was livid, I felt objectified, and for the first time in my career I said ‘no.’
Sexistentialism’s Re-imaging of women
Given the amount of attention received in social media, many wannabe stars take soft-porn selfies to gain recognition. An entertainment news article asked whether Kim Kardashian and Emily Ratajkowsky are bad for young women. Dr. Montana Miller researched high school students for the past 20 years and she told FOX411 that “social media has drastically changed how young women view their role in society since [the] selfie culture.”
Thou Shall Not Criticize Sexistentialism
Criticizing sexistentialism, one may argue, is an attempt to suppress women or limit freedom. Some may say women are free because they can sexually express themselves. Women are in control of their own bodies, and being sexual shows they are free and have power. Therefore, these women, like Katy Perry and Beyoncé, are not doing things out of pressure or to meet expectations, but willingly showing they are in control of their own bodies and lives. Margaret Sanger, Planned Parenthood’s founder, said “no woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body.” At the time, Sanger railed against religion and the State. Ironically, Planned Parenthood and the State now mutually support one another.
Stand-up, like Mila
Freedom isn’t found in sexism or through sex. It’s not by meeting the demands of social media and Hollywood. Planned Parenthood does not control the definition of rights.
To counter the sexistential culture we need to re-educate ourselves.
Education starts at home. Households make up society. Society changes when members of households change their habits. This begins by recognizing that sexuality has sexual laws. Otherwise, we could not judge some sex acts as wrong. Once we agree that sexuality has limits governed by natural and divine laws, then men and women will find freedom, meaning, and the value of life. (see God’s first instruction following the flood in Breaking the Rainbow Covenant).
Ask, what do I watch? View on the internet? Let my kids watch? How do I dress? What websites do I click on? What music do I listen to? Let my kids listen to? How do I view women and why? How do I view my body, and why? Do I believe God requires some modesty in speech, dress, and actions? Do I treat women with dignity and respect?
These are just a few of many questions we can start asking ourselves.
This article, Sexistentialism: Isn’t Life About Something More than Copulation? is a post from The Bellarmine Forum.
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